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Has sex become stressful, disappointing, or anxiety provoking?
Do you feel guilty that you lack desire?
Do you feel lonely or rejected with the frequency of sex?
Do either of you avoid sex?
Are you baffled by how this aspect of your life can be so difficult when other things work fine?
They believe something is fundamentally wrong with their relationship.
They believe there's nothing they can do to improve their sex life.
They end up avoiding the issue...resigning to this for the rest of their life, questioning whether their relationship can survive this, or suffering through feelings of guilt, rejection, loneliness, frustration, and disconnection.
But here's the thing:
What if there were a way out of the impasse? How much relief and happiness would you feel?
What if you could enjoy your sex life with zero stress?
What if you were able to reinvent your sex life in a way that made you both happy and engaged?
What if your sex life was an easy, great part of your relationship - so you could enjoy it and barely even think about it?
What if you became an EASILY INTIMATE COUPLE?
Without a clear process to uncover the expectations that have you stuck, to reframe how you think about sex, and to practice the fundamental shifts in mindset and behavior that you need, most couples end up more polarized about their sex life, with one person feeling more urgency and one feeling more pressure.
They fall into the trap of feeling like they have different goals and different priorities, with no clear way to work together and no sense that anything can change for the better.
As you try to make your sex life better and hit these dead ends, you feel less and less like a team. Even when you’re great together in so many areas of your life, you start to feel distance between you in the area of intimacy.
Over time, you can start to feel hopeless that your sex life could be easy and enjoyable for both of you. You resign yourself to a reality where you’re not having as much sex as you’d like, you’re having sex you don’t want, or at least one of you is avoiding sex whenever you can. Sex starts to feel like the weight dragging the rest of your relationship down, and it’s harder and harder to relax and feel good about each other and your shared life.
We have to start by understanding exactly why you're stuck and what's complicating your sex life. Then, we have to replace unrealistic expectations and misinformation with a new understanding of sex and sexual desire so that you are set up to succeed.
But just because you have this new paradigm doesn't mean your partner is on the same page. You have to learn how to approach and align with them to really make a change in your sex life.
It's crucial that you approach your partner as an ally, committed to creating a sex life that is easy and fun for both of you. This pillar is all about how to communicate effectively and what kind of expectations you should have of yourself (and your partner). You also get to focus on individual accountability - so important in making any change - by unpacking what you bring to the problems and identify what you need to work on. Your partner can do this, too.
But just because you're committed to a win/win and are set up to work as a team doesn't mean you can make any changes. You have to know what to DO to make things better.
Change doesn't happen just because we have understanding. We have to learn to behave differently. But we also need a plan for exactly what to do to make the changes we want to see. We need to know what we're practicing and how to most effectively do it.
But practice and experience won't get you the kind of transformation you want unless you are able learn from your experiences. It's crucial to integrate this new way of being.
To make this process work - and stick - we need to learn from what we're doing. We need to use our experiences to guide progress and maintain it, creating permanent change in our ability to enjoy our sex life with our partner. Without this, we backslide. If you've ever worked on your sex life before but were unable to keep it up, this is what you've been missing.
This part of the method is all reaching actual breakthroughs that will make permanent change.
Understanding why you're stuck (and that it's totally normal) and building a new mindset around sex gives you the hope that things can be different. BUT you still need to apply it to your relationship so that you can get on the same page with your partner.
Being a good partner and committing to a sex life that works for both of you creates connection and alliance. BUT you still need to know what to do with this information to actually make change in your sex life.
Having a roadmap about exactly what to do to practice all these new ways of thinking (and behaving) gives you a clear action plan. BUT you still need a way to learn from your experiences to create permanent change in your sex life. so you won't just revert to the way it was.
When you change your mindset, get on the same page as your partner to create a sex life that truly works for both of you, follow an action plan to put these ideas into practice, and integrate all of this into new habits and ways of being, you get to enjoy your sex life without having to think about it!
I’ve taken everything I’ve learned as an AASECT certified sex therapist and the experiences I’ve had working with hundreds and hundreds of couples over the years to craft a program to help you transform your sex life into something you both look forward to.
Intimacy With Ease is not just a description of the problem and what’s got you stuck; it’s an implementation program that walks you through a process where you can change your experience.
The end result: ease and joy in your sex life that will help you adapt to any challenges you face now or in the future.
Lifetime access to this proven program gets you working as a great team, takes the pressure off your sex life, creates willingness and accesses desire, and makes sex easy so there is no more stress. Work through the materials at your own speed. Your partner gets free access if they join you in the course.
3 months of live coaching. It’s going to be challenging. You’re going to have questions. You’re going to be uncomfortable in this new paradigm where there is no failure. I want to use these ANONYMOUS webinars to make sure you get the support you need to keep moving toward a sex life that is easy and fun for both of you.
Get lifetime access to the private support community to ask questions and build connections with other people with similar struggles. This is a great place to get help in between live coaching webinars.
"My husband and I found it very helpful, and we’ve already seen a vast improvement in our sex life! We went from a sexless marriage to having regular 'playground' time."
"We were actually trying to find a sex therapist in town but couldn't find one that seemed like a good fit. We "compromised" by signing up for your class. We are so glad we made that call as we think we've made more progress over the past 10 weeks than we possibly could have done in any other setting."
"Your class has been life-changing for us. We'd found your work through your podcast a few months earlier and had begun to incorporate some of your ideas and strategies. Although that was helpful and provided a good starting point, the class really helped us take our work together on our sex life to the next level. As a result, we're in a significantly better place as a couple."
"This course was excellent and so so helpful. It honestly was just what we needed. The modules were great and the homework was helpful as well and really got us thinking through things. It also enabled us to have much healthier conversations around sex than we have had in the past. Your insights and tools have been so beneficial."
The first step is to understand that you are not broken, that your struggles are common and normal. This is crucial to create both relief and hope for the process ahead.
Video 1: Understanding How You Got Here
Video 2: How to Identify Specific Factors That Make Your Sex Life Even More Difficult
Video Three: Understanding the Expectations That Set You Up to Fail
Video Four: Your Action Steps
This lays the powerful foundation for your new sex life - understanding what sex is, how it works, and the nature of sexual desire. What you learn here frees you from any feelings of failure.
Video 1: Defining Sex for Success
Video 2: Navigating Differences in Desire Seamlessly
Video Three: The Key to Understanding Sexual Desire
Video Four: Your Action Steps
Aligning with your partner involves working well as a team, knowing how to communicate effectively, and sharing the same perspective on relationship skills. This module will teach you exactly that.
Video 1: How to Operate as the Best Team
Video 2: The Communication Power Tools that Avert Conflict
While you may work with your partner in this process, the only thing you can change is yourself. This module helps you identify what you're bringing to the table and what you'll want to focus on moving forward.
Video 1: Examine Your Family Background and Release What Doesn't Serve You
Video 2: Learn How Your Relationship and Sexual History Relates to Your Path Forward
Video 3: Discover Your Unique Dance Around Sex so You Can Change Your Steps
Video 4: Getting Clear on Exactly What You Want to Change
Video 5: Your Action Steps
We can't make change with insight alone; we have to learn to behave and think differently. This is the powerful part of the program where you put all these ideas into action.
Video 1: Removing and Mitigating the Obstacles You Face
Video 2: Using an Exercise to Create Exactly the Change You Want to See
Video 3: The Eight Things to Practice That Will Transform Your Sex Life
Video 4: Your Action Steps
This is where it all comes together, where you fully integrate everything you've learned. You will discover how to take what happens for you and use it to continue to make progress, creating true transformation.
Video 1: Using the Exercise for Growth
Video 2: How to Get to Breakthroughs
Video 3: Another Way to Approach the Exercise for More Change
Video 4: Exploring Eroticism to Up the Interest
Video 5: Your Action Steps
For many people, even bringing up the topic of sex is uncomfortable. Many couples end up having difficult conversations or avoiding the topic altogether. This bonus material sets you up to have a productive conversation to get on the same team to solve the issues.
Misunderstandings and conflict can create tension and distance between you and your partner. This bonus material teaches you a communication strategy to avoid escalation, defensiveness, and anger.
These anonymous webinars are the perfect place to get answers to your questions and specific input to your situation. You can attend live or pre-submit questions and watch the recording. This helps you keep making progress rather than being derailed by difficulties.
You get ongoing access to the private community within the course. Here's where you can get to know some people, ask questions, and offer support to each other.
Sign up and dive in. We want you to be satisfied with your purchase, but we also know that your success will hinge on whether you put in the work necessary to succeed. If after the first 14 days and finishing the first module, you feel as though I haven't provided the actionable ideas, structure, and insight that are the roadmap to easy intimacy, I will happily refund your money in full.
Just email me within the first 14 days of signing up (ending at 11:59 PM Pacific time) and provide proof of your work. i will provide a full refund. This is my guarantee to you.
Learn about the myths and expectations that keep you stuck, expand your understanding of how sex and intimacy work in relationship, and learn the rules of the road for great relationships. This is crucial for setting you up for success.
Learn how to talk about your issues constructively, open up dialogue about your upbringing and past experiences that may relate to your struggles, and each take responsibility for your part in the dynamics. This is important so that you can work together while still focusing on your individual growth.
Use structured exercises and experiential learning to practice the ideas and concepts you're learning, turning it into actual change and transformation. This is fundamental so that you don't just think about change but get to embody it.
Use what happens as you move through the program to learn where to focus your attention so that you continue to transform your sex life. This is key to creating lasting and sustainable change.
It is totally normal to struggle with sex. There are so many factors that can get in the way; it’s inevitable that couples will hit bumps over time. Even though you’ve felt stuck, you can change the patterns, and you can experience sex without stress.
As part of this program, you get access to our membership group and the private community.
The membership group gives you access to 2+ online office hours per month. These are held via webinar, so your participation is anonymous. You can either be there live and submit questions through the Q&A OR you can email questions in advance and then watch the recording later.
The membership group also includes "hot seats." Each month, one couple is selected to get a half hour zoom call with me for the chance to ask questions and get specific guidance on their situation. These are recorded and shared with everyone in the membership group. You will be able to watch all the hot seats and benefit from those conversations.
It’s also totally normal for one of you to be more interested in tackling this problem than the other. As you’ll learn in the course, there is always one person more interested in sex than the other. Likewise, there is usually one person more interested in this course than the other. You can aboslutely work through the course by yourself and change your part of the problems. The course also equips you to talk to your partner about the issue and to work with them when they're ready. Your partner can join for free at any time.
Parts of the course (the Practice phase) are best done with your partner as an active participant, but even then, there are ways to implement the ideas by yourself.
It’s a common myth, but no! Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re with the wrong person or that something is wrong with you or with your partner. Sexual difficulties are common, and it’s okay to have to invest time and energy into understanding what’s going on and working to change it.
The course is especially useful for couples who are struggling with these complicating factors in their sex life. You may need to pursue some medical treatment for the conditions that affect you, but the course can help you find ways to engage sexually and to increase your sense of pleasure and connection with each other. So, even if you can’t enjoy or perform certain sexual activities, the course is about opening up the possibilities you do have.
For many of you, yes! As long as you have a foundation of goodwill, respect, and a decent ability to communicate with each other, you can have success doing this on your own in a course format. Besides, you do get access to the Stressless Support Circle that will allow you to get input and to ask questions as you go along. However, you may want to do therapy instead if your relationship is difficult in other ways, if you have lots of conflict, if you can’t communicate well with each other, or if there are substance abuse or mental health issues that complicate your situation. Feel free to email me if you have further questions.
Intimacy With Ease™ is perfect for you if:
Intimacy With Ease™ is NOT a great fit for you if: